Roller Coaster Ride!

I got up so excited this morning! Had my class last night and can I just say, am so lovin it! Anyway, I was so excited to get somethings done around the house and go out and play with some of the things I learned last night. But, of course that isn't how things ever work out, right.
So, got the kids off to school, played on the computer a little, while I had my coffee. Then, the phone calls started. Every body wanting money that I don't have! Some bill collectors can be very mean. I just wish my money would get here so I can get all the doctor bills paid & the phone calls will stop. Anyway, all that did was make me pissy and not want to do anything, I decided to watch the shows I recorded last night while I was at my class; Grey's, Private Practice, Idol. I watched Grey's & Private and decided to watch Idol. I turned it on and it was like just Ryan talking at the beginning and then it was done. The hubs turned it off. Don't mess with my Idol when I am not home to watch it.
Then I took my camera outside and took my notes from class with me and started playing around. Nothing was working right; so that made me pissy! So, since I was being pissy, I went in one of the kids' rooms (daughter #2- 12 going on 25) and started throwing things away. She came home from school; "Mom, whatcha doing?" (Me): cleaning. (D#2) "Where is all my stuff?" (Me): "I told you if I have to clean your room, I get to throw things away." (D#2): "Oh, do you need any help?" I thought she would have to help me off the floor!
Needless to say, it is almost 8:30 and I am still in the jammies I slept in last night and no shower. Really need to soak in a hot bubble bath, but I think I am going to just get me some diet pepsi & chocolate and go to my room & watch tv, the hubs is watching stupid old westerns and I have a MAJOR headache.
I guess that's enough bitchiness for one day. I hope tomorrow is better (it won't be), I have to hang out with the rest of the fam; brothers, sisters, nieces and already I don't want to go. I would rather spend my time doing other things than spending time with some of my family. Have a great night and talk soon!
Til we meet again!

So Excited!

I am so excited about today! I got my new needles for my sewing machine, which means I can now start working on some of my projects I need to get finished. I start my new photography class tonight. I cannot wait until then. I hope that it will get me excited about doing something again. I know that will help me with my depression. I just need to find something that makes me excited, something that makes me feel worth while and makes me feel that I am good at something, because the last few months (years) I have felt like a complete failure and I am so tired of feeling like that. I want my life back. I want to be proud of myself; I want my kids to have a mother they can be proud of.
So, there is a little of my plan that I said I was going to work on! Have a great day!
Til we meet again!

Quite a bit New Today

So today, I did quite a bit. I am very proud of myself. I got showered, got dressed and did my hair. I went grocery shopping, did dishes. I went to the bank, came home, cooked dinner. I actually cooked! Then, I did the dinner dishes. I never do dishes twice a day! In fact, oldest son, "you're doing the dishes again? what is with that?" I told him I was tired of getting up to dirty dishes in the sink.
Now, the comment I made; I actually cooked, Well, the ex was here the other night and I was in the kitchen and he came in to talk to me. I told him daughter #1 wanted him to make spaghetti for her the next night while he had the kids. He says, "I don't know how to make spaghetti!" I told him, brown your hamburger, open a jar of spaghetti sauce & cook your noodles! Then he wanted to know what the hell happened to me, because I used to be such a good cook.
I thought about that the rest of the night and you know, (unfortunately) he was right. I cooked every thing ! And even from scratch! I always made homemade spaghetti and lasagna. None of this jar or frozen stuff. I cooked breakfast every morning so the kids had a good meal to start school with. When the ex & I  first separated, I was working 2 part time jobs and still cooked and cleaned and took care of my kids. Now I don't do any of that. So, when I have a good day, I am very excited.
So, my plan now is too: 1-fix breakfast for the kids at least twice a week. 2-I am going to start cooking more   often; I mean, really cooking no more frozen dinners. Over the last couples of months I have found new recipes and cooked them and my family has loved them. So, I am just going to start doing it more.
3- I am going to start cleaning more. 4- Start making job charts and sticking to them. 5-Start making  "to do" lists. I know that I do much better (and get more done) when I have those lists. 6- I AM going to start working more on my photography. 7- I know that if I do these things I will be able to accomplish the most important thing; I will be a better person which will make me a better mom.
Well, I guess that is all for now. Talk soon!
Til we meet again!