treatment center and can I just say how hard it has been. She knows exactly how to work this to get the things she wants.
The day she got out of the center, we went straight to an appointment with her new counselor. That was our very first meeting with him. We mainly talked about home and who lived with her and that her dad & I are divorced and I am remarried. We talked about the brothers & sister. We talked about school and the problems she has had there. Then she talked about her relationship with her dad and how much she hates him, how she wants nothing to do with him.
The day before she came home we had a family meeting and discussed the changes that would take place when she got home, i.e. not more fighting, no teasing, no calling names, etc, etc, etc. I told Mr. Hubs, the counselor at the center, and her new counselor that I was tired of being her doormat that there were going to be rules and I wasn't going to back down anymore.
This is where the manipulation comes in. She knows how scared I am that she will try again to kill herself, she also knows how to use that to get me to do what she wants. After she had been home about 5 days, my nieces were going boating with boys. She wanted to go with them and I told her no. She had a fit. She told me, you won't let me do anything since I came home! You have got to stop being so over-protective! I'm like, seriously?! This has nothing to do with that!
It had to do with my nieces and how irresponsible they are. It had to do with how much I hate the lake they were going boating on, because of how many people have died on that lake. It had to do with, 2 days later 16 people had to be rescued because a storm came in and they couldn't get their boat back to the docks.
After pointing out that she had only spent 2 full days at home out of the 5 she had been home and trying to get through to her I wasn't backing down this time, she called her dad and told him to come and get her she needed to get out of this house, because I won't let her do anything. I then called him and explained to him what the fight was about and do not let her go with them. See,she likes her dad when she is mad at me because he has no rule, no supervision and just lets her do whatever she wants. She spent about a week there before she finally came home. I don't know what scares me more, telling her no or her being at his house unsupervised for hours a day.
But she is learning, I am not her doormat anymore and I am not going to back down anymore! Its hard and it scares me (and she knows that) but it will get easier as long as I stick to my guns and follow through. That's the big thing, the follow through. That has been the problem with all of my kids.
Until we meet again! Pam
I'm linking up over on Pour Your Heart Out
