I know I have said this many times. But this time is different. I am afraid if I don't make changes
now, Princess Shaney (or I) will be dead before she is 16.
Last week at counseling, the counselor more or less told me I needed to grow a pair and take
back control of my life instead of Princess Shaney having control. I told him that I would love
to have control back, but it scares me because I am so afraid that if I tell her no and hold to it,
she will cut or try killing herself again. And she knows that.
I told him how I was so mad at her for ruining our plans for that upcoming weekend. How I was
hoping to spend time just me & her. How she doesn't care how much all of this is hurting me. And
destroying the rest of our family. She told him how I favor everyone else in the family and just
treat her like a baby. Which that made me more livid. Which my reply was; My whole life has revolved around you since you tried killing yourself the first time, in June. Everyone in the
family has been neglected because I focus every minute on you and if you don't want to be
treated like a baby, then grow up and start working on being happy and part of this family.
And if you want me to treat you like I do the other kids, hop on board cause things are going
to be big time different.
Starting with that weekend. We did not go to the band competition. The night we were
supposed to go, was Halloween night. She asked me, Since we're not going, can I go hang
out with my friends & go trick-or-treating with them? I couldn't believe she had the nuggets
to ask me that! Are YOU kidding me? YOU ruined my plans and now you want to go hang
with Your friends! Not even going to happen. You're going with the REST of the family
to the Halloween party. She fought a lot over that, but I stuck to it and she went to the party at
my niece's house with the rest of us.
The next thing she wanted was to go see Mayday Parade this past Tuesday night, which was a
school night. I told her the only way she could go was she had to promise she would get up the
next morning and go to school and she had to go to school everyday until Thanksgiving break.
Again, she promised. Wednesday morning came and it turned into fight on her end. I stuck to my
guns didn't fight with her, just said you promised. I'm not playing your games anymore. And she
went. This morning was another fight. But I still stuck to my guns and she ended up going.
It sure does make my days go much better when I refuse to argue with her and let her walk all over me. I really enjoy things much more. I think she is starting to figure out that I'm not playing anymore and
things are really going to change around.
I am so glad that I finally decided to grow a pair and take back control of my life!
Til We Meet Again! Pam
Haven't done this for a few months, but I'm linking up with Shell over at