What the?!!!!

So, I was just going through my posts and I realized I have only posted twice in almost 2 weeks and they were both PYHO. What is up with that. Guess I have failed BIG time with my 30 day challenge, right?  What a slacker!
I have been spending so much time reading and posting on other blogs I didn't even realize (until now) that I was neglecting mine! Guess I will have to get you caught up on what has been going on and I guess this might be a long one, sorry.

*On Tuesday (last week) the kids had a choir concert. Prince Krusher plays percussion in the Jr. High band, so they were invited to preform in a few songs with the choir.

                                     Prince Krusher playing the
                                               "shaker" thing                        

                               Prince Krusher taking break between
                                                songs

He always does so good. At the program they did in December, I didn't take my camera and I was sooo mad. The choir sang the song, "Little Drummer Boy"  
(I don't think that is the actual name) anyway, he played the "drummer" part for that song. I couldn't believe it! When the program was over I asked him why he didn't tell us he had a "solo?" He told me it was cause it was no big deal! HELLO, it was a big deal to me!

*Wait til you see what I have decided to do with these:

It is probably not going  to be anything really major, just something springing. I am so ready for Spring and I am needing some color. So on Saturday I went to the  dollar store and got the baskets, flowers and the floral foam. I got the eggs at wally-world and the paint I already had from some previous projects I had done.

*So this was supposed to be my weekend (week) away. I go to Las Vegas this time every year to (for the past 9 years) the NASCAR race. I usually leave on a Wednesday and come back on Monday (today). This year I sold my tickets and stayed home. I really thought it was going to be hard, but it really wasn't. I stayed home all weekend, but got a lot of things accomplished. So, that was good.

Well, there is my catch up. Check back tomorrow and maybe I will have the baskets and flowers figured out and put together.      
Til we meet again! Pam            

I'm Sorry

I have been struggling for the last 14 months with an issue. Something I have been keeping bottled up all this time. I have decided that the only way to deal with it and maybe move on, is to let it out.
So, tonight I am linking up with PHYO with Shell.


                                       I'm Sorry


I am sorry that I walked away from you after dating for three years.
I am sorry that I broke your heart, when I walked away.
I am sorry that you thought I never looked back. Because I did, constantly.
I am sorry that I never told you how much I appreciated
      you were always there for me, over the years.
I am sorry that I never realized how much you loved me.
I am sorry that when you would come into my place of work
      I would sometimes act like I didn't know you.
I am sorry that I was never there for you when you needed me and
     especially when you needed me the most.
I am sorry that I was never willing to try and work things out between us.
I am sorry that I never told  how much I really loved you  and I always will.
I am sorry that I have spent more time visiting you and talking to you
       in the last 14 months than I have in the last 20 years.
I am sorry for any part I had in your decision to walk away from everyone
       who loves you.
I am sorry that our last kiss was right before they closed your casket.
I am sorry

No More Pity Parties!

So, I have been sitting here today watching re-runs of Grey's Anatomy (my most favorite show) and reading through the PYHO links today. I read this post by jen@adropinthebucket, which then led me to this one by Ashley which got me thinking, what the hell is wrong with me?!

Just because I hate my life, I hate my husband (yesterdays post), I hate the fact that since my car accident (almost 2 years ago) I have been in almost constant pain and constant depression. But, what is wrong with me? I am pretty much healthy, I'm not dying (even though the past week or so I thought I was), I am not having things repossessed (yet) because I can't pay for them, my utilities aren't being turned off, I haven't lost any loved ones in a few years.

I have decided that the thing that is wrong with me is me! My attitude, My outlook on life, My low self-esteem. What has happened too me over the years? In Jr. High and High School, I didn't give a crap what the "popular" kids thought of me. I didn't let people walk all over me. If you gave me crap, we were done. But as I have gotten older, things changed, I changed (on some things, but not others). I became every body's door mat.

I need to be with someone who will love be, someone who will lift me up not drag me down. Somebody who loves me & my kids. Someone who wants to share everything. For now, that someone is me! I am the only one who can give me what I want. I am the only one who can love me & my kids the way we need to be loved! Only me! I am not afraid to be alone, because as long as there is me and my kids, I am not alone! We have each other and for now, that is all we need. Just us!

So, I choose, joy. I choose, happiness. I choose, self reliance, I choose self respect. And most of all I choose ME!!!
Thanks for letting me pour my heart out once again!
And thank you Ashley & Jen!