Wednesday, February 29, 2012

No More Pity Parties!

So, I have been sitting here today watching re-runs of Grey's Anatomy (my most favorite show) and reading through the PYHO links today. I read this post by jen@adropinthebucket, which then led me to this one by Ashley which got me thinking, what the hell is wrong with me?!

Just because I hate my life, I hate my husband (yesterdays post), I hate the fact that since my car accident (almost 2 years ago) I have been in almost constant pain and constant depression. But, what is wrong with me? I am pretty much healthy, I'm not dying (even though the past week or so I thought I was), I am not having things repossessed (yet) because I can't pay for them, my utilities aren't being turned off, I haven't lost any loved ones in a few years.

I have decided that the thing that is wrong with me is me! My attitude, My outlook on life, My low self-esteem. What has happened too me over the years? In Jr. High and High School, I didn't give a crap what the "popular" kids thought of me. I didn't let people walk all over me. If you gave me crap, we were done. But as I have gotten older, things changed, I changed (on some things, but not others). I became every body's door mat.

I need to be with someone who will love be, someone who will lift me up not drag me down. Somebody who loves me & my kids. Someone who wants to share everything. For now, that someone is me! I am the only one who can give me what I want. I am the only one who can love me & my kids the way we need to be loved! Only me! I am not afraid to be alone, because as long as there is me and my kids, I am not alone! We have each other and for now, that is all we need. Just us!

So, I choose, joy. I choose, happiness. I choose, self reliance, I choose self respect. And most of all I choose ME!!!
Thanks for letting me pour my heart out once again!
And thank you Ashley & Jen!


  1. Such a great attitude! Choosing joy can make such a difference!

    1. Thank you Shell. I am really trying hard to get things together.

  2. Good for you! They say you can't change other's behavior, you can only change your own. Sounds like you are on the right track!